Narcissist

The tradition of eating meat stretches back to the beginning of all life. We eat each other. It’s fun, makes us look god-damn sexy, and feel absolutely awesome.

What is Meateatarianism?

Simply put we eat meat. And if we really have too… bread. “Minimal Plants, Maximum Meat” has been our proud slogan since we started the global organization which has taken the world by storm.

Why become a Meateatarian?

Here is a list of simple reason why we eat meat:

1.) Animals are by far the prime cause of global CO2 levels, and they thus contribute to global warming in a drastic way! By being a Meateatarian we can make Al Gore proud and reverse the deadly effects of Global Warming!

2.) Vegetarianism is probably one of the worst things man can do to this planet, killing innocent plants and removing the life force of the planet in one single salad. Plants help us Fight Global Warming… Vegetarians kill Plants… thus Vegetarianism is Evil.

3.) Saying the words: “I’m a Vegetarian” in public makes you sound gay or at least mentally retarded.

4.) Saying the words: ” I Eat MEAT!” makes one look like a awesome bastard that probably has a lot of sex with other awesome bastards. It is plainly put your ticket to becoming a sex symbol.

5.) Meat builds muscle bulk! Thus the more you eat the better you look! More muscles and more muscles makes for awesome abs, biceps and ass! Vegetarianism on the other hand makes you look either anorectic or whale-like from all the damn Starch you pump into you body.

6.) Plants have souls too, and by eating them you are killing… thus you are a MURDERER!

7.) Animals have no souls… so we can EAT them… read your Bible or something…. I bet it is written in there! So in other words Jesus approves!

Jesus was one of the founding members of Meateatarianism… “Drink my blood and eat my Flesh” he says in the Bible… thus we are insulting him when we don’t eat meat!

9.) Animals may look cute but they are really evil, and we kill them for the safety of Humans! How many trees have you heard of ripping some kids head off with his giant claws and teeth? None! Exactly so save the tree and eat the meat!

10.) Meat does not make you Fat and this has been Scientifically and Biomedically proven!

Many more reasons will follow!

Interesting Facts:

Tom Cruise was such proud Meateatarian that he ate placenta! Wow, now that is truely respectable… but maybe he did not read our second rule of Meateatarianism… We are no allowed to Eat Humans… just Vegetarians, and since Katie Holmes was not a Vegetarian he had to be kicked out.

Rules:

Do not eat other Meateatarians, we only eat Vegetarians.

Do not eat too much Vegetables… you might kill the planet through Global Warming!